making excuses

“Our job is to love people. When it hurts. When it’s awkward. When it’s uncool and embarrassing. Our job is to stand together, to carry the burdens of one another and to meet each other in our questions.”

—   Jamie Tworkowski (founder of To Write Love On Her Arms)

If there is one thing I have learned in the beginning of my 20s, it is the importance of being kind to people.  I am not always successful at this.  There are days where I am mentally throwing cuss words at the slow person in line in front of me at the bank.  There are times where I am annoyed at the woman whose children have totally taken over the aisle I need to get down at the grocery store.  But, there are a lot less times than there used to be, and it has made me undeniably happier than being mean did.  

Hating other people for wronging you, no matter how big or small the deed, will never make you happier.  Similarly, being defensive and mean rather than kind and open will never make your life better.  Giving someone you pass a big smile isn't always a guarantee they'll return it, but it really doesn't hurt you to smile regardless.  Sometimes it's difficult to get over these habits, but a friend gave me a great tip that really helps with strangers.  

Let's say, for example, someone cuts you off in traffic.  You could scream and honk.  It would likely freak them out a bit and stress you both out even more.  Those probably weren't your goals when you honked, you more than likely thought it would make you feel better to "get back at them."  It won't.  

Alternatively, you could make up an excuse for their behavior.  Maybe it's a father-to-be speeding to meet his pregnant wife at the hospital.  Perhaps it's a mother whose teenager just called to say they got in a fender bender, and she wants to get to her scared kid.  Maybe it's a waitress late for her 4 o clock shift, and she really needs that job.  

Maybe it's none of those things and that person just doesn't drive very well or is kind of a jerk.  

The good news is, if you make an excuse for them, you get to be the person who helped them get on their way rather than the angry driver who laid on the horn.  

The more you practice it, in traffic and everywhere else, the sooner you'll realize there's hardly anything to be upset about at all.  

wear it/easy

Summer has finally come to the midwest.  This time of year, I mostly reach for a simple dress and flats, but I am really loving these easy combinations just as much right now.  I recently got my hands on the most perfect pair of cutoffs, and now all I want to do is wear them paired with flowing white tops and clogs.  

monday tips

It's going to be a crazy day around here - so much to do, so little time.  Mondays are actually my favorite,  I work from home in St Louis and I like to get a running start on my week.  Of course, it's possible not everything will get done, and I'll fall a bit short, but these tips make it a little more likely that I'll make it all happen.  

1.  Wake up to music!  I used to go by an alarm clock with this obnoxious beeping sound, but I recently discovered the feature of waking up to your current favorite song with your iPhone alarm.  I really like THIS song first thing in the morning.  

2.  Get in a workout before anything else.  I'll be the first to admit, this does not always happen.  I like sleep as much as the next person, but even I have to admit that when I kick my day off with a good run or morning yoga class, the whole day seems to go more smoothly.  If you want to fit it in without leaving your house, I love Bethenny Frankel's yoga videos.  I know it's a little funny that a reality star has a yoga DVD, but they're filmed with her instructors, and I like that she isn't too serious. 

3.  Dress up.  Your whole day can be improved with the confidence of knowing you look cute.  In the summer, I fall back on a cute dress (no putting an outfit together!) and flat shoes, for running errands with ease.  Totally coveting this and these right now.  

4.  Make time for a decent lunch.  I'm spoiled by working at home, because I can use my whole kitchen, but on the days I'm in the office I pack a good salad.  I made this one yesterday and it was SO good.   

5.  After dinner walks.  We just got a membership do a dog park, which our labradoodle loves, and if we don't head there sometimes we'll just roam around the park.  It's the most perfect way to end the day.  Reading My Tea Leaves even has a lovely little #afterdinnerwalk project going on Instagram.  

i want to be wearing....

It wasn't like I'd never heard of Soludos espadrilles before, but when Cup of Jo posted about them last week I was reminded of how they may just be the perfect summer shoe.  

My husband could not be picker when it comes to footwear.  He demands that if we're going somewhere together my selection is comfortable, because he doesn't want to hear me complain, but he also detests the look of wedges, so heels are pretty much out.  I can get by with a variety of boots in the fall & winter, but in the summer I have to create a pretty good wardrobe of flat, comfortable, and still attractive-to-my-man shoes.  

Keds are winners, Saltwaters are considered "passable" though not his favorite, and Toms also make the cut. I think he'd approve of these casual cool options as well, especially the ankle wrap sandal, which makes a nice alternative to wearing heels.  

ankle wrap espadrilles.  ikat espadrilles.  

friday love list

Notions and plans.....

braids and sunglasses (no makeup) = the best summer beauty plan.  also sunscreen.

are swedish hasbeens the ultimate cool girl shoe?  i suppose that depends on your definition of cool, but for me its a yes.

missing bonnaroo....but gladly exchanging the weekend for a fun one at home with my family.

summertime cocktails.

best denim shorts i've found yet.

might have to make this for lunch saturday.

happy weekend!